Why me?

Why someone like me?

Jorge with his family.

I am sitting on an old lawn tractor mowing the green gardens of a Christian camp in Spain.

This simple phrase brings together three statements that, a few years ago, seemed impossible and incompatible with my life. Driving a lawn tractor, working in a camp, living in Spain. Since I was a child, I have liked tractors and farm tools but I never imagined myself sitting on a one. I am a city man and my skills in the countryside are completely useless. They were a few years ago and they still are now. Why would God call someone like me to work in the fields? Working in a camp was beyond any professional consideration. I graduated in sociology and worked as a history teacher for fifteen years. What can a sociologist contribute to a Christian camp? My only experience with camp dates back to my younger years in the church, beyond that, I had no experience in camp ministry or any other service ministry. Why would God call someone like me to work in a Christian camp? And to live in Spain? Impossible! I was born in Venezuela, I grew up in Colombia, my wife is Colombian, my children are Colombian, I didn't know anyone in Spain. Why would God call someone like me to live in Spain?

Now the lawnmower is stopped, and while I drink water I look up and see the landscape around me, and once again I ask myself: Why someone like me?

In the book The Lord of the Rings, old Bilbo reminds the inexperienced Frodo: “It is very dangerous, Frodo, to cross the gate. You are going towards the road and if you do not watch your steps, you do not know where they will drag you.” Something Very similar to Bilbo's advice is the advice of the apostle Paul in the Book of Romans. In Romans 11:33 the apostle Paul reminds us that "the ways of God are unsearchable." When I gave my life to Christ I said in prayer "Here I am Lord, send me." God called me, along with my family, from the place where we were, and through unexpected paths he brought us to this place: "And he brought me out of the pit of despair, out of the miry clay; He set my feet on Rock and made my steps straight."

I thank God for being here, I like cutting the grass, I like working in this camp and I enjoy my new life in Spain. I move slowly with the lawnmower on a dusty slope and remember the words of Jehovah to the prophet Isaiah "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says Jehovah. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways, but higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

Now I know why God has called me. Because it is his will and because I belong to him. Driving a lawnmower, working in a Christian camp, and living in Spain has nothing to do with my skills, abilities, or talents, it has to do with God's purpose for my life, for my family, and his work in this place.